tweak

whoa, u have a lot of hair- oh, thk u! & thks to my highschool romanian teach (who almost didn’t recognize me while passing her by-prolly cuz of the shades but…she said she was just seeing a tenth grader-yay! i still fool people) my conversational skills have come out of the burrow, not entirely all that rusty. top my mauve tights with the white petites flowers, shades & mane- I wasn’t afraid to be outside 2day.

oct 17-announced

I was about to do smth ugly. tell some ugly things, pehaps true, perhaps exaggerated, to someone very close and dear to me. I postponed it for a definite moment but before I got to send these thoughts on, I got another piece of news-the hope rendering kind (although I’m still waiting for that truly miraculous, X-mas magic). And the ugliness can be sent or even onceived no more. I dunno why I appreciate people’s bad parts before I start considering their good side. but I do. that only increases the misery of it all. and the pettiness in which I dable constantly, stubornly but perchance rightly so…cuz I did have other plans for us.

wish

This always brought tears. yep. that’s about it. not in this three-Quarters

after all

gone.

as if it keeps trying to convince me that it’s just not worth it.

cool, cool, cool!

Ooooooooh! I can’t wait for this! so so purrfect! just my thang! so rad!

ha-ha!!

I just found some verses-actually I think they’re lyrics to a “song “I once started to write )))) sheesh! not that I ever had such pretenses…

“Hey, girl, I don’t mean to be an ogre,

But truth be told…

You’re no fun when you’re just sober.

I’ve been flying beers by your eyes

And even some anatomy.

So, I’m starting to think it’s me you despise”.

I’m up to ignore that, I won after all,

With both our backs behind the wall.

Next you’re dreaming of cool times in your teens

And then wake up to find a plate full of greens.

So you begin to think, well… life’s getting sad

And suddenly you shout: “it’s not yet as bad!”.

U begin to consider to skip every meal

When it’s just half a radish, u were able to steal. (more like 1/5 of one actually)

I gave you my burger, the burger I cherished

You couldn’t care less, so our love had thus perished.

Alas, our love has kicked the bucket,

Nothing can help, not even chocolate. 

Ok, maybe you can hit me with a serenade

So that I might forget that you hesitate,

But then it’s hard to say, I’d best be on my way, wake up while it’s still today. And leave you waving while I cruise away…

Well, you start to beg and you make me weep

I’m no fool and merely gonna give you a tip:

Don’t grovel and moan, it’s so pathetic

And it’s so obsolete, in this story, get it?

Now all those vows just seem overrated,

Not to mention that love that you’ve masqueraded.

…………………………….

apple and cinnamon cake

miracle cake

sponge cake

muffins

semolina pudding

-that’s the poem and I don’t know why. spring really shouldn’t be.

the others take me! i’m pooped!

And so I fade under a windy wish and the name Harry,
hushed thru the rustles of gummy Lego bits.
The poke goes back to me yet again,
the undesirable.
Cross off the bars but eye the purple slashes underneath,
and all those rosy dots, sworn fellowship of empathy.
It was the scrubby, scented trunk I was courting,
who cared about the withered branches? The trunk sang to me.
but I’ve lost its gaze. It’s on neither side.
Round and round, I trace the strings
and come out with watery fingers.
Walking in reverse? Guarding? Yes, myself.
Un-“ess”-ed. The midget slice tossed out
spiked me up with bitter pulp.
It’s foggy up there, where I should be judging.
crammed and devitalised in the middle.
awake and prejudiced down below.
chilled and restless on the ground.
The fountain has cringed its cursive fiery limbs,
It-not me.

the loser me is resurfacing more and more..i seem to be losing/ losing it so much lately. i could have squished that doggy’s tale if it kept yapping at me.

i’m thinkin..if i dont go completely fruity soon or do not attempt permanent existence effects, smth..

clogged to that

I like cereal. I look around but I’m stuck on.