spices and mices

Today, we went to Buch, to visit. Cousins, aunts, uncles, parents, granfolks…a lil gathering, better late than never. So, our musical relatives as I like to call em, super nice gens.I quite enjoyed myself and got some personal insights out of it. First of all, the dishes must be complimented, cuz my mum’s cousin spoiled us right. Lemme expand for a bit. The hors d’oeuvres consisted of delicately sprinkled mixtures: broccoli, some pickled ingredients I can’t quite put my finger on, but I did put my taste bums on, some types of cheeses, one of my likings: “ghiudem”(ostrich we were later told-yummy!) and an exquisite cheese pie. that’s what mostly impressed me. Then we had some dandy salad, with lettuce, avocado and nuts, vinegary, as I like and a most delicious turkey roast with chicken filling actually. Desert consisted of cremshnit,again- bingo there, and a soft, aroma filled, cocoa creamy cake. She’s a super cook, top points from me. Must not forget the whisky I was also treated to. He he…hac! Family talks and giggles, lots of pics all around…was even told I look like a member of the English royal family but I’m not quite sure that was a compliment. got me thinking as usual…this time of things beyond and above me, but I’m not going to press on with this. Let’s just say I get moments of awareness, as ever so often. Ptuee, ptuee! just had a flash-thru, this whole thing happened right about now that I’m watching Fran…and she’s such a family person. neato!

I also got some other flashes. I was trying to imagine, prolly fantasy and silliness got the best of me, smth about a connection, a certain vibration actually. Say, there’s this person, and most of the time in a conversation, a man wants to have a say-in but none really hear them. He’s gotta shout, or otherwise wait for silence and even then, at times, thoughts can speak louder than his own voice. Like a faded, squeamish light, so are his letters…but then, somehow, he finds a ear. A ear, that receives the tone of his words before any other’s. it was specially designed for his lines of decibels, as they are ordered. They travelled faster to her ear. So, hers is the first answer. There is always an answer as long as the right ear is there. you won’t have to swallow your words anymore. Get my drift?

Eh…nevamind…here’s some pics from the syndrophy (gonna add some more).

’tis the season to do folly…don we now our gay apparel-drown ur head into a barrel!

man, lousy X-mas!! the whole atmosphere bites, big time! plus, see signs- the Christmas flower’s dying, been looking dreadful for days. X-mas tree ain’t too great. the X-mas fir crown ain’t big on the heart either, so crumpled and dismantled. I know I jinxed it all, with all my thinking about it and craving and dreaming and waiting and forget the whole thing! I dunno why I didn’t imagine this before! it makes perfect sense for it to be completely yuck cuz I wanted it to be nice and miracle like so much! my ass…whatever…what’s new in town! oh, I’ve had those thoughts so intensely today. I’m a coward. what movies? what carols? what warmth? not even chocolate can take these spirits on a cruise. the sponge cake was a blow out also. it’s just not…cool.

rectification I believe is in order. things got better when Santa dropped the goodies, I mean the whole opening ritual and stuff. sat, ate all sorts of biscotti, took pics. was nice after all. lemme ignore the rest.

chalet dots

snowy Campina, un-occupado me. It’s like…everyone’s going to Viena this winter. Man!!! My mom’s friend…a friend of mine, those girls on the train were planning an escapade. Sheesh. Oh well…my bro’s gonna be in Vegas. Mum’s into caroling already. One more week of torture-school. I’m not really having any deep thoughts right now, mayb I’ll add some later.

of this and that this week

 

seow…what went down lately? it’s all pre-xmas pangs and twiches. skating, for once. got some views on that, up to my organism to digest it all. but the nite spelled pleasant and added comfiness and laziness to it, after a glass of sweetly scented, bright red, hot wine. yumm, yumm. in a scenery of old cardboard hangings, some soul players’ pics, straw chairs and memories driven laughs. thursday had a cup ‘a. a cup of tea that is, Grace, Alina, Andreea and with a lump of gossip. girls’ evening. I had a delish straciatella tea, with honey, milk and rose petal sherbet-tough one on the stomach, but I could take it. Grace’s apple struddle pistachio tasted pretty swell 2. Alina spooned us some of the bits of her sweet fruit drink. Andreea had a classic caramel tea, but good-tasting. and it snowed! oh, so pretty! and we snow-ball fought a bit. mwhahaha! that nite I thought I saw Santa among the crowd. Dressed like any of us, but whom amongst us humanoids has that kind of beard? so white? I’m tellin ya, he was scouting. Mayb he’s short in help. dang, missed my chance. Oh, and he kinda lost some weight too…but I have my hunch he just pumps himself up before the hollidays, and all year long, the Mrs is keeping him on a strict diet. healthy. went to ikea with grace, on friday. enjoyment! that place is marvellous. I think I like evthing, topped with the food of course. that almond cake…mhmmm…oh boy, oh boy. ikea rocks, big time. we just splashed ourselves on the comfy beds, on colourful sheets, underneath artful paintings and frames, behind curtains, thru puppy heads and snake strangles. we definitely goofed. then, thru winds and flashlights…not all’s fine and dandy. Blandu’ Ben’s gone. right before x-mas, that’s really sad, poor kitty. So orange and cute, so reminded me of Puss in Boots. and so adorable, all snuggled on Lassie’s back. We’re gonna miss him. the other kitties, ‘cept the limp-eared, hillarious one are pretty smug, u can see it. Ben was just…gentle and lazy… …

kEEp in tOUch

it was about 10 p.m. when I left my place, nasty weather, rain pouring down my cheeks. hands in the pocket, craving a smoke, imagining warmess and movie-watching comfiness but too bored and wrestless to stay it, I decided to meet some friends for a drink. took the bus, deserted bus stop but when I got in, I noticed there were 2 more scattered humans. there was this heavily clothed man, with a bushy moustache, a black cap, sat askew and a thick, brown coat. he looked grumpy but uninterested. then there was a plain-looking young man, in shades of grey and unidentifyable mood. I sat somewhere between them, considering the whole length of the bus, as I seated myself in the middle, next to the window, so as to drown the flow of thoughts in the moisty, dirty glass pane. went smoothly for about 2 stops, when this girl popped in. I spotted her wackness from the start. she wore these mauve jeans, a pink vest with 2 blue stripes,atop a  green jocking. course, she wore converse, green ones. I remembered I was wearing my own brown ones. she also had this heavely patterned backpack, spotted with badges. only afterwards did I turn to analyse the face. Naturally, u have to realise all this happened within a couple of seconds’ view. she had a pair of rosy cheeks, relatively big eyes, the colour of which I could not determine because they seemed deep into something. the hair was parted in curls, shoulder length but ondulating around her head shape. of course, she was pretty. no matter, I turned my gaze away, back to the darkened paysage. out of the corner of my eye, I saw her settling next to a nearby post, grabbing hold of it and sort of swinging around…one more stop, annoyed by furtive looks and bam!-she seats next to me with a gentle thug. “hy!”. I’m a civilized person so despite being in quite wretched socializing spirits, I responded: “hey”. ”where u off to?” she asked. “um…out, meeting some friends” I retorted, then looked away so she’d stop. “oh, neat! I was just rambling, really have no idea what I wanna do but couldn’t just stay in and waste a perfectly good nite”. As she finished she smiled broadly, so self-content about what she had just said, while I was thinking, wow, big deal, what a great proposal, u sure ain’t missing a sec of your life. So, again, I turned my head in apparent and sincere disinterest. These teenage kids that just don’t wanna miss out on any of life’s opportunities sometimes tire me so much! Note to self: me, a 20ish, spiritually 40ish humanoid. Naturally, she did not desist: “hmm…but u know, my friends, whom I normally hang out with didn’t wanna be dragged out tonite, all found excuses, the piglets (giggle), u know…feeling lazy and that sorta thing. But I said to myself, that’s not enough to stop me, I just couldn’t waste myself indoors.” Since yet again, I was silent she felt compelled to keep going in the same manner. “and it was very wise of me cuz see, I met you and what a great company you are. I’m really lucky 2nite”-wide smile there. That’s where I just had to intervene before things got out of hand. “Whoa! hold on, don’t get too excited, u and me have no common plans 2nite, or any nite for that matter. What exactly do u mean by lucky?”. She actually seemed dazed. “well, I just made a brand new friend and am about to make new ones, right? U got lots of interesting budies, doncha?”. I was really getting anxious. “No, my friends are few and boring, you wouldn’t like them”. The corners of her mouth just wouldn’t go down. “oh, no sweat, I’m fascinated with boring people to, I just love studying all kinds of people, moods and words and everything.”. “U can’t come with me, don’t you understand?” I actually  shouted. “why not?”“’cause I just don’t know u, I don’t…know anything about you, it’s just crazy. Can’t you just leave me alone?”.“Man…but you are indeed one of the most fascinating creatures I’ve ever met. What a tragedy u make out of talking to a stranger. I’m just a girl, a teenager like you. I like talking to people I find interesting and I don’t like withholding my impulses because I find myself regretting every time. Words don’t hurt you. I saw you, and you looked like you needed a kind shoulder and I thought it was a perfect occasion to add to my good deed list, so I said what the heck. You had this imploring look, it really touched me. But, I’m no pain in the neck. I’m off! Have a good life!”. And she got off from the seat.

I looked down, at my knees, felt a lil ping in the temple, then heard: “aren’t we supposed to get off here?” and realized that last outbreak of mine had been all in my head, all in the fog of my temporary lapse. Her voice went: “what’s wrong? Why are u frowning? Oh, and you’re all sweaty all of a sudden”. I shook my head, pressed my eyes with my palms and took her arm. “let’s hurry, we’re already late”.

d-k

well, if depression and the surge of sweets don’t kill me, nothing will as soon as I’m thinking of it. at the rate things are going, nothing’s gonna de-petrify my insides any more. i just dont wanna be happy, or smile or whatever. i see no more point. the surroundings keep giving blows. all I wanna do is close my eyes..mayb just do this for a very long time. or…hmm, I’d also like to quit school, that’d make me a teeny wee bit “happy”. sometimes I think it’d be better if I just left, dunno where and what to do, but just go…not trample around on evthing, issue crises and nastiness and words devoid of human fibre. talking about failures, my…talked about his as if it was really serious. I haven’t thought about that till now, always imagined he was way better off, way smarter, resourceful, ambitious, star-written successful than me-which is totally valid, just that…evthing put together u can’t quite completely brag about it. but the way i see it, he’s got about half of it done, just in the wrong place and mind. i might be wrong to think this would suit him better but that’s the option I got so…

just wondering what the point is in getting a good feeling when it lasts so little…it’s hard to come by anyway. it’s nobody’s fault really, my mechanisms just seem to be giving away, and the oil can’s all dried up. so, this dilapidated form…what’s it supposed to do?

taken by grace

magical…if only in a proper setting…]

de drugs:-the triggers