I was about to do smth ugly. tell some ugly things, pehaps true, perhaps exaggerated, to someone very close and dear to me. I postponed it for a definite moment but before I got to send these thoughts on, I got another piece of news-the hope rendering kind (although I’m still waiting for that truly miraculous, X-mas magic). And the ugliness can be sent or even onceived no more. I dunno why I appreciate people’s bad parts before I start considering their good side. but I do. that only increases the misery of it all. and the pettiness in which I dable constantly, stubornly but perchance rightly so…cuz I did have other plans for us.